1) I didn't play. OK, so technically I didn't buy a lottery ticket for this drawing, but I did when it was at $90M, $65M, $42M, and so on all the way down to $12M, so I suppose the title to this post should be "Top 10 Reasons I'm not $90 Million Dollars Richer"
2) The Awwww Factor. I don't have one. I'm a middle class, 20 something from Boston who is (mostly) self sufficient. There is no mortgage to fall behind on, I didn't get laid off, I'm not a cowboy living off the land, and I ain't got 6 children. There's no reason anyone who doesn't know me should feel good about me winning lots of money.
3) I'm too intelligent. Some people might think that being too intelligent to win a game that has been referred to as a "tax for dumb people" doesn't make sense, but I'm convinced the Powers That Be are all about some GED redneck from backwoods Georgia or Iowa or Montana winning the Jackpot because those same Powers own the E! network and those same rednecks will make for entertaining TV whether they end up with a reality show or on THS Investigates: The Curse of the Lottery II.
4) I'll spend and save my earnings wisely. This may be more aptly labeled as number 3a, but I'm sure I'm going to struggle to get a substantial amount of reasons anyway, so it gets it's own. I have spent admittedly abnormal amounts of time thinking about and/or planning what I would do with the majority of my money if I were to win any exorbatant amount. It's not so much that I expect to win, as that I just want to be prepared if I do. How much would a house cost in Wellfleet on the water? How much would a vineyard in Argentina cost with a 5 bedroom house attached? How much would it take to pay off my loans and debts, to pay off my family's debts? Perhaps new clothes without holes or pen stains or a wallet to hold my belongings so they're not all just stuffed in my pockets. With all of that considered, I'd still have a lot of money left for savings (and maybe an Aston Martin or two...yes, I'd get my license).
5) I'm too rational. I have no ties to any particular set of numbers, I'm not superstitious, I don't think my birthdate is lucky, nor is yours. With all that said, I always quick pick the numbers instead of playing a particular set and with some quick google research used to find statistics that match my cause, I found that according to the 1996 New York Daily News,"Quick Pick is not the best route to winning. More than half of all players use Quick Pick instead of selecting their own numbers. But Quick Pick has accounted for only 38 percent of the winners".
6) I'm too good at not working. I'm not one of those people that would continue working my job because I'd need something to give me purpose in life or my passion for waitressing is just too strong to stop. Amazingly, I can find plenty to do with my time if I have all the money I need and (you can ask my friend Kevin), it's fun to have me around because I'm up for just about anything when I don't have to work in the morning. Want to fly to Holland tonight? I'm in. Want a weekend in Vegas? I'm in. Beer Olympics? Done. Rugby World Cup? Sold.
7) I'd get really fat. I realized yesterday that one of the major reasons I can't save a lot of money is because I like delicious food. I like to go out for delicious food, I like to cook delicious food and if I were to have a completely disposable income, I would spend a lot more time and money doing both of those things. Now, in theory, I'd have a lot more time to work out and money for a personal trainer, but in reality, I don't like working out and won't like it more if I pay someone to make me do it. Actually probably quite the opposite, I'm also really spiteful.
8) I'm not convinced I'd help stimulate the American Economy that much. I'm not a down home girl who thinks my back yard is all of the world I need to see (not that I have a back yard, but you get the point). If you look at the things I've mentioned I'd do with my money, nearly half of my theoretical spending thus far is off shore. You might never see me again if I win the lottery because I may spend my time between my cottage in Chile and my house in Malta.
So I probably put too much thought into why I didn't win and someone else did considering that I didn't even play, but I will not be deterred. I'll probably go buy a ticket today as $12 million dollars (the lowest the jackpot goes/is at now) would change my life substantially and I'm not one of those people who will only play when it's up over $100 or $200 million because I'm not that greedy. I am, however, greedy enough to desire a cool twelve mill and make plans for my life thusly. And with the creation of this list, perhaps I'll take a different approach, and start picking my own numbers based on some random reasons so when I do win, I'll have something to say about it at my press conference that will make all the spectators say "Awwwww."
Update:
9) I have no real plans for giving a substantial amount of money to charity. I'm not one of those people that claims I'll give half my winnings to feed children in Dorchester or something. I'll probably do something good with my money- maybe I'll do some volunteer work, but in all honesty, other than those that have been charitable to me, I have no strong sense or desire to give up much of my winnings.
No comments:
Post a Comment