The Unconsidered Ramifications of Suicide

Warning: This one is a bit morbid folks.


When Jeanne Morsett was planning on killing herself, she probably thought about how it would affect her husband Gerald. She most likely took into consideration the impact it would have on her two sons and her daughter, probably even her granddaughter. I'm sure she thought about all of them and then disregarded how her death might affect them because her problems were clearly more important than the potential problems she could cause. She then proceeded to the Mansfield train station where she threw herself in front of an Amtrak Acela Express train headed from Boston to New York, traveling around 150mph, to end her life in one of the most gruesome and public manners plausible.

What Jeanne Morsett failed to factor into her unthinkably selfish act, or perhaps she did factor it in and decided to disregard it right along with the feelings of her family members was how her death would impact me. She didn't seem to care about how it would affect the cute blond girl in the blue wool coat who ended up calling 911. She didn't acknowledge the group of teenage children who were waiting for the train, or the man who first saw her heading for the tracks, or the conductor of the Acela, or any of the passangers on board. She didn't care about all the police and EMTs and firemen who could have been called away from someone who wanted to live. She didn't care that I'd have to be the one to see the remnants of her body lying less than 50 feet in front of me. She didn't care that I wouldn't be able to sleep for days after that or that everytime I shut my eyes all I could see was her torso and leg lying on the train platform. She didn't care that I wouldn't be able to ride the train for a while, or couldn't be at the train station without crying every time I heard "Train approaching, please stand behind the yellow line" or even more anytime another Acela blew through the station at an insane speed. She didn't care that even months later I can't watch anything bloody or greusome on television, or that the phrase "its like watching a train wreck" will never be the same for me. She didn't care that sometimes I still cry myself to sleep because of her and for all of that I hate her. I have so much anger towards someone I've never met which is clearly futile but I can't feel anything else about it. She was so selfish and hurtful to so many people and while I have nothing but the utmost sympathy for her family and loved ones, I have nothing but anger for her and I dare you to try and be angry at a dead person you've never met. It is probably one of the least productive things I've ever done.